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Spontaneous Grace

What am I? Where am I? Is there an I? I am everything, nothing, everywhere, nowhere.

Thank God for baths and kirtan music, I was able to go really deep into bliss, huge expanded love and joy. I'd like to stay there all the time, but I guess I am grateful I can always drop in. I want to drop in more often, into my innermost Truth, deepest expression, truest nature. I want to be and express from my most natural and truest nature. I am tired of lying and being fake. I am tired of pretending, pleasing and enabling. I don't have the energy for any of that anymore. And I am tired of it too. It all bores me. I just cannot hold on any longer, I need to let go.

I am grateful for the bliss because I haven't felt enough of it lately.

The first part of my day today I felt down, low, depressed, and hot even knowing why. I know I am afraid because I have a property in Costa Rica, and my realtor there who has all my documents and titles is not answering his emails. They are bouncing back, and his website is gone. I will forget about it for a while, then I think about it and begin to feel afraid, even dread inside. Then I think, even if I lose that property, I am still here. I will be ok. I am not the property. Loss is always difficult when we believe we can lose. When we

are attached to the outcome. But not being attached to the outcome, and being in non resistance and love doesn't mean you cannot go into powerful action. I know for me I wrote the US Embassy in Costa Rica, I wrote the San Isidro Police, and a local realtor. I haven't heard from any of them yet. I will let you know. Pray for me please and for my land (That's me but not me.)


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